Sunday, January 30, 2011

Rest In Peace...Continued

We arrived at the vet and Toby immediately ran Brandi into the office. On the way to the clinic she had began to convulse. I didn't even think about it when we jumped into the car. Toby put Brandi in the backseat and we jumped into our usual spots in the car....Toby and I up front and Summer in the back.

With Summer being in the back with Brandi she had to witness her convulse. I'm not sure what kind of impact sitting in the backseat while your pet is convulsing and dying will have on her. Understandably, she was clearly upset. Unfortunately none of us get out of this life unscathed by bad experiences. Life goes on.

I have to say that hour spent in the vet's office was the worst for all of us. Toby and I had to make a decision. Brandi had gone septic. Her body had been slowly poisoned by the undelivered babies still left in her little body. After thousands of dollars there was still only a 50/50 chance of her survival. The big question was.."Was our pet's life worth it?" After all, Toby is an artist and I'm a housewife, not really that financially well off at that moment in time.

I don't know what was worse. Having to make the decision to euthanize my beloved pet or having Summer fall apart on me and tell me how much she hated me in the vets office after we told the vet our verdict. Summer with her 10 year old mind came armed with only her emotions and no logic.

These are the times that we really miss having family around. I would have really loved to spare my daughter the horrid experience and left her with a family member while Toby and I did the "dirty deed"...but then on the flip side not being shielded and protected from adult experiences at a young age may benefit her in her adult life...

We opted to bring her body home with us and bury her in a special spot in the yard. Riding home with her wrapped up dead body next to me was like a nightmare I kept hoping I would wake up from. I missed her already so much. We were all quite on the way home from mental exhaustion and shock. All that could be heard from us all were our sniffles and muffled cries. Such a sad, sad, night.

Toby and I woke up early the next morning and buried her. We both held each other and cried and remembered all those things that we loved the most about her.

It's been two weeks since her death and I still can't think about her without shedding a tear...probably never will.

This picture was taken a few weeks before her death...

1 comment:

  1. With time you will begin to think of her with fond memories. I can't tell you how much time. I always wondered about the year of mourning when I was young. I know it is about experiencing each annual event without the missing loved one. Seems like it took about a year for me with my dogs. I still have moments when I have a pang. What helps me is the ones I still have.