I am sitting here in my "office" hiding out at the moment. Hiding out from 3 females ranging in the ages of 9 to 11 years. I almost can't take it.
My son always had friends over. I don't ever remember feeling frazzled when they were over. Thinking back, I don't ever recall ever seeing any of them when they were all together for a sleepover or whatever.
These girls are driving me crazy with screaming, dramatics, and overall annoyance. I suggested maybe they play a board game or watch a movie.....I guess that's not what kids do these days...
Let me give you a little backround. Summer knows that I don't allow sleepovers for her yet. That rule is just biding my time with her. I did allow my son sleepovers at her age and younger. There is a reason for this....
........my son was public school educated and I worked a full time job. I delighted in the time I was with him. Kid annoyance didn't bother me back then because I wasn't around kids 24/7 like I am with Summer. There is a big difference between spending all day long with your child as opposed to 3 or 4 hours.
Nowadays by the time 7:00 p.m hits I am DONE with kids...kids of every color and shape.
While raising my son I had the luxury of being at work for 8 hours a day. Let's face it folks, there is a reason the general population doesn't mind shipping their kids off to school daily. Working a full time job will ALWAYS be less stressful than than enduring kids all day long. That is, unless you are truly a kid person...
My point is, I don't mind being with my daughter 24/7. I am used to that and rather enjoy it most of the time. But after being with her round the clock I don't feel like dealing with somebody elses kids "after hours". I am ready to be "off duty" with my offspring by 10:00p.m.
I know this may sound selfish. I even think it's selfish but...
So tonight, knowing the sleepover rule, she asked if her neighborhood friends could stay over until 10:00p.m. Reluctantly for her sake I agreed. After all, I know she needs to feel like a "normal" kid sometimes.
Growing up, I can remember my mom being the same way. I never felt comfortable inviting my friends over and very rarely had sleepovers. When I did have friends over I always felt uncomfortable...as if I were walking on eggshells. My family liked their privacy...and so do I.
Although I am hating on this whole thing, I know that her friends will be my demise from this day on. The days are numbered that I will be able to keep our household friend free.
Just yesterday I realized my little girl is growing up. She no longer is interested in the toy section at Walmart nor does she play with any of her "toys". I did a "spring cleaning" of her bedroom yesterday and realized that she has not played with any of her "toys" in over a year.
We are slowly changing as a family. It's a bittersweet thing. Toby and I look forward to the day we can be an "us" again. Even so, I will miss the "us" as Summer goes from being an "us" into a "her".
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This is a hard one. I was a stay at home mom, so I really do understand what you are saying. Going to work is so much easier than being home with your children. I really can't imagine also being their teacher. I commend you! That being said, adolescence was my focus in college, and the main developmental goal is social, not academic. You want her to feel comfortable in her own home with her friends - it's much better to have them where you know what is going on. I had two daughters and I, being someone who also likes their privacy, can remember counting the hours until the overnight was over! So hang in there. Ear plugs help!
ReplyDeleteI totally get the 10pm thing...That is also when I turn back into a pumpkin. I don't think it's selfish at all to set limits with your kids like that. We have to do SOMETHING to keep us sane!
ReplyDeleteI don't ask for much as far as 'me' time (or 'me and hubby' time) goes. However, the hours between 10pm and midnight when I go to sleep are precious and I won't give them up unless someone is sick or bleeding.