The other day I ran across an article that could have been written by me. I'll summarize the article with the points that resonated with me the most.
Yes, I'm still a secular homeschooler; and yes, I'm aware that this is a minority position. But there's something degrading about the idea of begging the mainstream population for forgiveness: "It's okay! I'm not like those homeschoolers!" And there's something misleading about saying that it's unusual to be a secular American homeschooling parent, when the larger truth is, it's unusual to be a secular American parent, period.
I can't tell you the times I have dreaded telling someone we homeschool for fear they will assume we are religious. In the past I use to make the mistake of automatically telling people we were not religious. I don't know what was worse to let them believe we were "sinners" or to tell someone who is religious that we are not and watch them glare at me with a concerned furrowed brow. I learned to just keep my mouth shut. Matter of fact, nowadays I avoid the subject all together and just let people I know we will never see again believe my kid is traditionally schooled. Better that than be viewed as one of those "weird homeschoolers".
The majority of Americans are Christians -- 78.4%, according to the latest Pew report. About 16% of the rest are "unaffiliated." Which sounded like good news to me, the big fat scary atheist. But in fact only a tiny minority of the unaffiliated identify as either atheist or agnostic -- 1.6% and 2.4%, respectively. The rest are happy to consider themselves as "nothing in particular," and those whatever-dude types are about evenly divided between secular-whatever and religious-whatever.
This still makes people like me a minority within a minority.
He hit the nail on the head when he said.."Minority within a minority". That's what we are. Not only are we not religious homeschoolers we are not religious PERIOD. That's two strikes against us already.
The idea that the homeschooling community is a religious body is as incorrect as the wistful assumption that public schools are entirely secular.
I had never thought about that before until I saw it on paper. With the exception of my atheist neighbor the rest of my mainstream neighbors would be considered religious in some fashion or another even if it's not readily practiced or broadcasted.
On the other hand, if you're a secular homeschooler in the Bible Belt, you may have to do some serious searching to find another of the "unaffiliated." But that's not because you're homeschooling. That's because you live in a place where the phrase "Nice to meet you!" is pronounced "What church do y'all go to?"
I had to laugh at this one. When I lived in Mobile more than just a couple of times I had people automatically ask me what church I attended upon introductions. Luckily, it's a little more diverse and progressive here so nobody assumes anything.
Homeschoolers are neither more nor less likely to be Christian conservatives than are their mainstream counterparts. Or, to put it more simply: Most American homeschoolers are Christians, but only because most Americans are Christians.
All that being said, I used to really stress about not finding a homeschooling circle for Summer but you know what? I have found that because of our non-religious beliefs and restrictions we mold well with most people we come across, both religious and non-religious. We have no expectations and we go with the flow.
In turn, that has made us able to be ourselves and enjoy our surroundings as a whole experience and certainly none of us are lacking in friendships or activities.
If you are interested here is a link to the whole article.
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Great post, I think you know my take on religion, in my view the churches spread more harm than good, more hatred than peace, more judgement than unity. It is no surprise with the way society is brainwashed into following the "normal" way of schooling, or, living in fact, where when people like you and I step outside the mould for no other reason than it is what we wish to do, we are seen as you say, sinners, or, worse! Good on you for living a life that resonates with you, for living what is true for you, if more did, perhaps the world would begin to heal. ♥
ReplyDeleteInteresting post, interesting perspective. I wonder, if it's a Southern culture vs. Northern culture thing, because I have a very different experience.
ReplyDeleteNo one I have met here in Cincinnati has assumed I homeschool for religious reasons. Not the mainstream folks, not other homeschoolers, no one. The mainstream folks always assume it's because the school system in the city is crappy and they assume we can't afford private school. Most of the other homeschoolers assume it's a square peg / round hole type of thing.
In fact, I now know very few homeschoolers who homeschool for religious reasons, because there are so darn many catholic / private schools in our city! (due to the crappy inner city school system?)
I know what you mean about people asking what church you go to upon introductions in Mobile...why is that anyone's business??? I would NEVER ask someone something as personal as their spiritual beliefs upon meeting them!
When we lived in Mobile, however...yes, the assumption was homeschooling for religious reasons. I always let folks think whatever in the heck they want, unless they ask. No one ever knows exactly what 'box' to put my family in anyway. It's why we have a hard time making friends. I guess we inadvertently make a point to defy labels!
We live in Missouri, and everyone assumes we are church going, religious homeschoolers. We have raised many eyebrows. My daughter was researching for a character in her story. She read a book about palm reading, and "poof" we are being "watched" to make sure we don't lead any children in the homeschool group down a "dark" path. Good grief! My youngest says "Dang it!" Lol. That one gets some reactions as well. Too funny! We don't curse. We don't drink, and we're not into watching overtly violent movies or anything, but I feel like we are the "wild homeschool family" here in good old MO. Oh yeah! My kids read Harry Potter and play D&D;o). We walk on the wild side ;o)
ReplyDeleteHere in good old Missouri, we are the wild homeschool family ;o). My daughter read a book on palm reading and is an atheist. My family reads Harry Potter. My kids play D&D. My youngest says "Dang it!" We raise many eyebrows here and are being closely watched to make sure we don't lead any homeschooled children down a dark path. We walk on the wild side in MO ;o) LOL. Oh yeah! AND, I encourage free thought and open mindedness :o).
ReplyDeleteWe live in Missouri, and everyone assumes we are church going, religious homeschoolers. We have raised many eyebrows. My daughter was researching for a character in her story. She read a book about palm reading, and "poof" we are being "watched" to make sure we don't lead any children in the homeschool group down a "dark" path. Good grief! My youngest says "Dang it!" Lol. That one gets some reactions as well. Too funny! We don't curse. We don't drink, and we're not into watching overtly violent movies or anything, but I feel like we are the "wild homeschool family" here in good old MO. Oh yeah! My kids read Harry Potter and play D&D;o). We walk on the wild side ;o)
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