Friday, October 16, 2009

As of Late....October 16, 2009

O.K., I know I am being a real blogging slacker again. I have not been doing what I said I was going to do - keep a daily journal no matter how unadventurous and mundane my daily activity may be.

In all honesty, I am pretty proud of myself for keeping up with my blog as long as I have. I know it's not as fancy, elaborate, or well written as other blogs floating around out there, and I'm sure I will never earn a "Blogger of the Week" award, but that's never what I intended my blog to be in the first place.

I have always had a hard time sticking with something. I am one of those people that get real gung ho about an idea or project for a while and then promptly loose interest in a couple of months, or maybe even within a couple of days, only to move on to another project or idea that peaks my interest.

I think some people may label this sort of thing as ADHD or one of those other terms western world folk try to pin their idiosyncrasies on. I call it smart enough to know there are too many interesting things to learn and discover to waste time on any one thing for too long.

Once again, I am going to try and blog my daily activities.

Last night was pretty eventful. At bedtime Summer decides to go on a crying spree. I'll leave out all the horrid mommy details and get to the point. She was upset because we we are ridding our old furniture in order to make room for the new furniture we bought. She informed me that she does not like change and that even though she is looking forward to new furniture, she does not want our old furniture to go anywhere. If it was up to her we would be so lucky for her, I am quite the opposite.

*Sigh* She has had attachment issues since birth. This is one of those issues I can totally relate to. I can remember in elementary school I would not throw my paper bag that my mom sent my school lunch in because I felt like it was throwing a part of my mom and home away if I trashed it. I can remember clearly pining for my mom and my home when I was in elementary school.

My attachment was extreme but I was forced to have to deal with my "issues" early on when I had to enter school. Homeschool was not as recognized in those days and I'm almost sure my mom was one of those mom's who enjoyed the daily break away from her kids...especially one that was as fun as I was.

My mom told me stories of how I was almost "kicked out" of first grade because I cried the whole day. When she would pick me up from school each day I would have swollen eyes and a horrible headache from crying all day. No, I did not cry for just a day or two...I cried every day for my whole first grade year.

Yes, I can vividly remember those days even 40 years later. Of all the other parts of my life I have forgotten, these are the days I remember the most. The longing for my mom and home. I was a fish out of the water in school and every other place that did not include my mom, familiar people, or my home.

I guess eventually even if you don't like things, you get used to them. It took me a few years in parochial school, but I can remember some good memories of elementary school. I have to say that I went to an excellent Catholic school for my first 8 years of school. Up until my high school years I have a few fond memories of school.

These are the memories that make me half wish that I had sent Summer to "formal school" As Toby pointed out and kids are way different these days than they were back in our day, and not necessarily for the better.

Even though I had a tough time the first few years of school I believe that I learned to "suck it up and deal with it" by doing something that I didn't enjoy and was uncomfortable with. I think the experience of "school" made me a stronger person.

Hopefully I have not made Summer's life so comfy that she will not know how to deal with real issues when they arise.....

I know there is much more to report about, but this is the one that sticks out most in my mind for this post.


  1. Oh my goodness. .I am really glad you wrote about why you didn't want to get rid of that lunch bag because that helps me understand my Molly girl a little better. Throwing out things is TORTURE for her. And she would have been JUST LIKE SUMMER about the old furniture. Your words help me because I LOVE to get rid of STUFF and cannot understand hoarding AT ALL. I am all sad for your little first grade self after reading this though. Seriously. .that is sooooo sad!!

  2. Wow girl, we had a lot in common even in first grade way before we knew each other. I had the same problems, but we lived right across the street from my school in first grade & once or twice I got up & walked home! I don't remember doing that, but my mom told me the stories. I lied a lot & told the teacher I was sick to try to go home. I do remember doing that.

    I used to have attachment issues, but not so much now. Benji used to be like that too. I think he still is to a certain extent.