Holidays.....again

I am not a fan of holidays...never have been. Being the somewhat introverted person that I am, I really hated them growing up...with the exception of Christmas of course. What kid doesn't like to get gifts??

As a child, I hated social gatherings of any kind. Holidays were always the worst because I knew that meant interaction with other human beings other than my immediate family. I was an extremely shy and insecure child and certainly did not like being the center of attention. Somehow, I'm not sure why, adult relatives always gravitate to the most insecure child in the room in attempts to draw them out of their shell - which I might add is the worst possible thing to do.

I can vividly remember one particular incident. We had gone to visit my grandmother in Chunchula, Alabama as we usually did most Sundays after church. This one particular Sunday another relative was visiting - one I rarely saw and made me cringe when I did see her. At the time I had to be only 4 or 5 years old. I can remember this older relative spending most of her visit trying to coerce me to come give her a hug, all the while my parents were trying to persuade me to go to her...PURE HELL. I can remember feeling so overwhelmed and desperate, not knowing who to turn to for rescue during this traumatic experience.

Growing up it never got easier. I spent most of my young life trying to avoid family gatherings which annoyed my social mother more than anyone.

It wasn't until I got a family of my own and I could pick and choose what family members I socialized with that I began to somewhat enjoy social gatherings like holidays get togethers.

Ironically, I now have very few family members that I get together with on special occasions. Since moving to Texas it is even less than ever. I now get a sense of longing for my favorite family members on holidays and special occasions. Much too late now, but I find myself wishing I had had many more children when I was younger so that I could plump up my immediate family members...kinda like animals do.

For example, it is Memorial Day weekend. Toby is at work and Summer and I are here by ourselves again on a holiday. Not that Memorial Day is that big of a celebration for us. I probably would not even make note of it other than I see everyone in the neighborhood having their barbecues, laughing, and enjoying their families company. These are the times that I miss having my beloved son, dad, and extended family members with me.

Isn't it funny how things change and people change???? Change. Hmmmmmm.....inevitable.