Sunday, May 24, 2009

Holidays.....again

I am not a fan of holidays...never have been. Being the somewhat introverted person that I am, I really hated them growing up...with the exception of Christmas of course. What kid doesn't like to get gifts??

As a child, I hated social gatherings of any kind. Holidays were always the worst because I knew that meant interaction with other human beings other than my immediate family. I was an extremely shy and insecure child and certainly did not like being the center of attention. Somehow, I'm not sure why, adult relatives always gravitate to the most insecure child in the room in attempts to draw them out of their shell - which I might add is the worst possible thing to do.

I can vividly remember one particular incident. We had gone to visit my grandmother in Chunchula, Alabama as we usually did most Sundays after church. This one particular Sunday another relative was visiting - one I rarely saw and made me cringe when I did see her. At the time I had to be only 4 or 5 years old. I can remember this older relative spending most of her visit trying to coerce me to come give her a hug, all the while my parents were trying to persuade me to go to her...PURE HELL. I can remember feeling so overwhelmed and desperate, not knowing who to turn to for rescue during this traumatic experience.

Growing up it never got easier. I spent most of my young life trying to avoid family gatherings which annoyed my social mother more than anyone.

It wasn't until I got a family of my own and I could pick and choose what family members I socialized with that I began to somewhat enjoy social gatherings like holidays get togethers.

Ironically, I now have very few family members that I get together with on special occasions. Since moving to Texas it is even less than ever. I now get a sense of longing for my favorite family members on holidays and special occasions. Much too late now, but I find myself wishing I had had many more children when I was younger so that I could plump up my immediate family members...kinda like animals do.

For example, it is Memorial Day weekend. Toby is at work and Summer and I are here by ourselves again on a holiday. Not that Memorial Day is that big of a celebration for us. I probably would not even make note of it other than I see everyone in the neighborhood having their barbecues, laughing, and enjoying their families company. These are the times that I miss having my beloved son, dad, and extended family members with me.

Isn't it funny how things change and people change???? Change. Hmmmmmm.....inevitable.

5 comments:

  1. The kids and I will be alone as well. Vic is working...no family to speak of...and well, there will be no BBQ either.

    So...Happy Memorial Day...see ya on facebook!

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  2. Great post. I have to work today so I miss out on family gatherings. Hope you have a great day!

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  3. I know. Now that my family is spread out, we just don't get together like we used to. I tried for many years to create family traditions, but now I'm tired of doing it and wish my children would pick up the mantle. So far they haven't.

    So we're home doing very little but working on our small plot of earth.

    Have a good one!

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  4. Extended families...sometimes can be both a blessing and a curse, all at the same time! I find myself missing our family more than ever, since we moved away. My advice: do your memorial day barbecue (or something else special) when Toby's off next. Who says you MUST celebrate a holiday on one particular date, anyway?

    We're just sittin' around the house the rest of today, *GASP* doing school work!!!!

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  5. i totally know how you feel about the extended family trauma stuff....i've been there, too. and i still hate big get togethers - especially the extended family type ;)

    as for memorial day...my hubby had to work too...i spent it at the grocery store and running errands :)

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