Today Summer was playing with the little next door neighbor boy. I might add that she plays more with the little boy (Philipe) than she does with his sister who is her age.
Since birth Summer has always preferred to play with boys more than girls. I haven't figured out if it's because she has always been in contact with more male species than females or if it's that she figured out at a young age that it's easier to boss boys around.
Anyway, today they were in the house playing. Toby was watching a movie while he was drawing...Lost Boys. I have never seen the movie before nor do I care to. As the kids were running back and forth through the living room where Toby was watching the movie, a particular gory, violent part of the movie caught Philipe's attention.
Toby noticed that he was enthralled with the gory, violent movie part. Toby asked him if he was allowed to watch rated R movies. Philipe replied "yes" that he was. He then proceeded to tell Toby that he could watch any movie as long as it did not have "nasty stuff" in it. Toby then asked him what was considered "nasty stuff". Philipe replied, "you know, like kissing and stuff."
Toby brought their discussion up with me later. He found it odd that his mother would let her 7 yo boy watch murder, violence, and gore but found love, kissing, and sex to be taboo. Sadly, the poor kid is being taught that sex, kissing, and love is "nasty stuff." I bet he has never seen his mother naked either.....now we know what is wrong with a large percentage of our male society.
Why would it be o.k to let your already over aggressive 7 year old boy watch violence on T.V. and not love scenes??? What made violence o.k to watch but not sex???
Hmmmmm....not that I let my daughter watch too much of either, but if I were going to let her watch one or the other I think I would be more inclined to let her watch the one that involved kissing and the expression of love.
What do you think???
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I wonder if the boy was just flat out telling a fib out being allowed to watch it at all!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, in my husband's mother's house it's the exact opposite. Violence is no-no, sex and "gooey stuff" is OK. Since she still has teens in her house the rule still applies.
I'm with Ruralmama, he could have been fibbing. Benji was not allowed to watch anything over PG-13 until he was legally old enough. I do remember that his dad did let him watch the Matrix before he was 17 though. Benji loved that movie. I do think it is inappropriate for young people to be watching sex scenes. No need in them getting all hot & bothered before they are emotionally ready -- as in being an adult.
ReplyDeleteI like to leave children innocent for as long as possible. And, my son has never seen me naked, eww. . .
ReplyDeleteI could see rationalizing that you can teach a child that the blood and gore is fake... but how do you fake the kissing and sex? (only a married person can do that.)
ReplyDeleteI was really embarassed last week when I took Megan to see "I Love You, Man!" There was no nudity or sex, but the theme was very mature. Unfortunately, the expatriate theater here does not post the ratings. The trailer looked like it was just a funny romantic comedy sort of movie.
No doubt Megan will prefer to see movies with her friends in the future.
Interesting topic.
ReplyDeleteI try to keep in mind that you can never "un-do" what you see or hear and like to remind the kids to protect their mind, eyes and ears and only allow in or keep it filled with the good stuff. Of course everyone’s definition of "good stuff" if different. Since I can’t always be with them and life happens I also try to teach them that if it makes them uncomfortable they can always turn their eyes, hum a little tune or simply walk away.
In our home "gore" and "nasty stuff" on t.v. was/is forbidden on t.v. until what we feel is age appropriate. That age depends on the child and how they handle life.
For my current teen, the last couple of years he has been easing into more “gore” on t.v. and movies...because he has asked and been interested AND because he can now understand and comprehend life...or real vs. make believe.
For my 9 y/o...currently all violence is forbidden. She is an overly sensitive child and is/has been bothered by certain scenes even on animal planet. There is certainly nothing she’s going to miss by not watching it.
As far as the "nasty stuff"...we are just now easing into the topic as a teen. We've not covered "human" intercourse...but everything else is handled. There's just not been a reason to bring it up prior...and of course they've learned a lot from the animals. Animal planet is a perfect introduction to the birds and bees :~) Human sex and heavy making out on t.v. is and will continue to be a no-go for a while…or a least until said teen expresses a desire to watch it. I don’t even enjoy watching it.
Nakedness at home is no problemo...the human body is exactly what it is and everyone has this one or that one. Although said teen doesn't particularly care to see "this one"...lol. That said, and although there are some very beautiful bodies out there, we don’t care to see “them there private areas” in public.
Interesting topic...We are very open as far as nudity is concerned. I breastfeed my infant, so bare boobs are a part of life around here! I've noticed that Archie (age 7) doesn't bat an eyelash at nudity in movies. I suppose it's because we haven't made it taboo. He witnessed the birth of my baby nine months ago...you can't get much more naked than that!! Plus, I am pleased he knows what purpose 'lady parts' officially serve.
ReplyDeleteI have a problem with anything that paints an unrealistic picture of sex and love. (Disney Movies and Romance Novels, especially!!!)I think I am doing my future daughter-in-law a severe disservice if I brought up a son who has no idea of what 'real' women look like naked. I feel when nudity is not okay in the family, his only exposure to nudity would be through ill-gotten pornographic magazines and movies as a teen. Can you imagine what his expectations would be when he got into a real relationship with a real woman? Aaak!
And for a girl, that damage would be horrible because she is wondering why her body doesn't measure up to the air-brushed image she sees.
Furthermore, movies that have nothing whatsoever to do with violence and blatent sex can adversely affect perceptions of what love (and ultimately sex) is supposed to be.
Case in point--Grease (John Travolta and Olivia Newton John). Sandy is a cute, girl-next-door type in the vast majority of the movie, trying to get Danny to notice her. He is ultimately WOW'ed at the end when she dresses like a tramp, playing the sexpot roll. This movie totally shaped how I thought I should be because I figured all boys liked the tramped-out version of the girl rather than who she really is.
It took years to undo the insecurities that rather benign movie created in me. I have very little memory of movies that had sex scenes in them. The two hours of my life I would gladly take back is the time I spent watching the movie Grease. So go figure.